I stop to breathe

You hold me in

Your silences

You take my air

When you

Are near

Can I breathe

In your mayhem

And make you

Whole?

Rock bottom is a serpent

That squeezes joy, hope

And all its sisters

From my husk

It’s the cold smell of piss

At four in the morning

While I wonder whether

I have the strength

To hang myself

With my stockings

From the bars of a cell

Strewn with scratchy blankets

Sanitary pads and pain

Sobering up to life

Still there

Just beyond the shackles

Of the self imposed

Misdemeanor

It feels like death

I pray for death

Strangled by a pair of leggings

In a puddle of piss

And despair

Shame can’t be hidden

In the fingerprints,

the court date

The bruised elbow

From where the evidence

Was sucked into a tube

Death attempt failed

The sun is cruel today

Drive drunk

Just don’t survive

So cold in this room

Massively wrapped in suckers

My tentacles shrink-inking

Away from a life

That cloys

And holds-

To explode into stars

And burn

And scorch everything

Would be pansies

On cakes-

And the after bliss

The mini mort-

I will lie gasping the galaxies

Sipping oceans

Of planets

One by delicious

One as their yolks

Clog me

More than sun

And earth

And trees

Compared to daffodils

But surpassing

Is there a spring field?

Anywhere

That can eat

My dreams

Or a wintery one

That can steal

My screams?

I live among the undead

All of you.

Will you lie

Or breathe deep

I would

I need cheap

I need it deep